My nose is running....

'Tis the season for germs! Ella has been announcing that her "nose is running". She says it over and over and over. Sometimes her nose isn't even stiffly and she feels the need to announce her subsequent desire for a tissue. It is adorable and annoying all at once. I love hearing her emerging vocabulary (hugely improved post surgery). What I don't love is that she gets hit with the nastiest bugs. For Ella, that runny nose unfortunately turned into a lot worse. In what has become true Ella fashion, her little cold turned into a big sickness. We ended up at Albany Med with a high fever Wednesday. She was admitted after the x-rays and blood tests showed that she has pneumonia and RSV (a lung infection). It was horrible news, but at least she wasn't dealing with the flu as well which was a big concern when we first arrived in the ER. This was just shy of one day to the year that she was hospitalized for pneumonia last year. She was admitted on January 17, 2012...this year it was January 16. Talk about a horrible coincidence and something we don't want to re-live EVER AGAIN. It's safe to say that the Tapp's probably will start a traditional hibernation of sorts in mid-January next year.

We spent three days at the hospital and Ella seemed to bounce back pretty quickly. She still has a lingering cough and that runny nose persists, but we are incredibly thankful we caught this as early as we did. She was such a trooper in the hospital. The poor girl was poked and prodded and hardly got to rest with all the doctors and nurses in and out. Jason and I split our time with Ella, while trying to balance work and making sure Avery was all set at home. I took the day shift, while he spent some sleepless nights in a chair next to her bed.  There are not many feelings worse than seeing your child in the hospital. We are so thankful for the support of our family, co-workers and our Nanny and my mom who worked some long days and made sure Ave's was happy and healthy!

Feeling well enough for some
art projects at the hospital.

I am happy to report that we are on the mend. I have my fingers and toes crossed that this is the worst of the winter germs that we have to deal with (for many years, haha!).

NO!

Sister Love!

I have a feeling things are about to get VERY interesting in our house. Avery figured out how to get herself up on all fours this week. She isn't crawling yet...she gets ready and then looks at us wondering what to do next! It is very cute and incredibly exciting. This is a new experience for Jason and me. Ella didn't really crawl. She had her own timeline for meeting milestones. We still celebrated every moment and we will do the same with Avery. I was snapping pictures and sending Jason video messages all afternoon as Avery tested the (pre)crawling waters.

Ella even helped cheer on her baby sister, encouraging her and showing her what to do next. This was such a nice moment to see. It ended pretty quickly though. Just minutes later, Ella was pushing her sister out of the way. We are seeing a little more of this aggressive behavior. I turn my head for a second and Ella is ripping the paci out of Ave's mouth or snatching a toy from her hands. I have caught her pushing her over and even covering Avery's eyes by pulling down her headband. Lets just say we are not at the point of unsupervised play! The battles should be fun when Avery can crawl to any toy she wants. She is already eyeing Minnie Mouse and Doc McStuffins (Ella's favorites)

Ella is also finding her voice. A favorite phrase recently is "Enough Avery!". She loves to chime in when her sister is fussing. She even speaks up if Avery is happily babbling. I think she likes the little power trip. She is also likely mimicking me. I realize now I must say "Enough Ella" when she is mid meltdown or just having a whiny day. Looking on the bright side, at least she is listening and hears me.

Another favorite word from Ella is NO! She is definitely testing her boundaries with Jason and me. Her teachers also tell me she is becoming a bit more stubborn. Her easy going nature is being over powered by her desire for a little more independence. She gives her dad a hard time with just about every choice in the morning from getting dressed to what to have for breakfast. She also finds a lot of satisfaction in avoiding me at school pick up time. When her teachers tell her to get her coat or that it is time to go home, she boldly responds, NO! Some times it annoys me, but more often than not I LOVE to hear it. I don't want a bratty kid, but I do enjoy seeing Ella doing and acting how so many other 3 1/2 year old's act. If Ella wants to walk the walk and talk the talk, she'll also learn to pay the price. She is quickly learning that crossing the line and naughty behavior leads to a time out. I hate to break it to her, but little sisters take mental notes. She better be ready for Avery!

Welcome 2013!

Wow! Can you believe it is 2013. Where does the time go?? This past year was a whirlwind for our family. It was filled with so many wonderful moments, memories that we will cherish for a lifetime. 

I would have to say welcoming our little Avery in May was the highlight of the year. She is such a joy and brings us so much love and happiness. Her smile is infectious and her emerging personality is strong and sassy. She can sit all on her own and she is trying to figure out how to get up and go. She'll be crawling in only a matter of time...and then the real fun begins :-) She has also turned in to my little chatter box. Avery has a voice and she is not afraid to use it.

Ella has exceeded our hopes and dreams in all that she has accomplished this year. She is such a great big sister. She has grown in so many ways with her new role. She is mom's helper, a patient teacher and sometimes an annoyed older sibling (she doesn't really care for crying, haha!)  

It was a rough start to 2012 with a hospital stay for pneumonia, but her health improved dramatically from there. She has grown more than four inches and packed on close to ten pounds this year. The switch to Boston Children's hospital for her treatment has proven to be a good choice. Ella has had a lot of new adventures this year too. She started preschool in the fall and loves every minute of it. She also started ballet. Dancing brings her so much happiness. She can't wait for class every Thursday night!

2012 will also be one remembered for some big accomplishments professionally for Jason. In his first year as a coach with the Union college men's hockey team, they played in the National Championship. An unforgettable season led to a trip to Tampa for the Frozen Four. Ella and I were so proud to be there to cheer for the team.

This year will also be a hard one to forget for a much more somber reason. We lost a very special person last January, Jason's sister Jessica. Her love for Ella and her excitement over the arrival of another niece are some of my favorite memories. It is these memories and the many others that help us cope in some of the darkest days. The holiday's were hard...the coming weeks will be even harder. It is still difficult to come to terms with the loss. It's a pain that will never leave us. I want the girls to know everything about her. I had pictures of Jessica in their room and I will always tell them how much she loved being an auntie and how truly special she was. Jessica is Ella and Avery's guardian angel!

My hopes for 2013 are for health and happiness. I am excited to watch my girls grow. These are the special times. My goals are simple...to be a good person, to pass this on to my children, to enjoy my time with my family and to learn from the difficult and stressful times. I can't wait to write about the big moments, the milestones, the accomplishments. I am even more excited to experience these moments. Happy New Year!

A Few Extra Hugs...

Life lately had been filled with lots of ups and downs. I have referred to the "roller coaster" before, but these last few weeks have been different. It has been emotionally draining at work, combined with the anxiety surrounding Ella's adenoid surgery. I am relieved to write today that she is doing well following the procedure. It took a few days to bounce back, which is normal for anyone post-op. She is back to school now and hopefully feeling much, much better. The surgeon told us her adenoids were far worse than he expected and she should have dramatic improvements in speech, breathing, sleeping and eating. Our fingers are crossed!! She was such a good patient, even battling a nasty stomach bug just 24 hours before the operation. In true Ella fashion though she handled every aspect of it like a brave girl.


My happy patient! Doing well
after her surgery.

 Ella's strength and resolve is what makes me so proud to be her mother. I have certainly held her a little closer, hugged both Ella and Avery a lot more over the past few weeks. I have reported on tragedy after tragedy this month at work. Every story making me even more grateful for what I have. There are parents here in the capital region of New York that no longer have the chance to hug their children. 20 families in Newtown, Ct are struggling with how to move on, how to celebrate Christmas without the people they love the most. These stories have weighed heavily on me.

A tragic car accident took the lives of two local high school seniors. I cried just reading the hundreds of tweets and seeing the community come together to say goodbye. Days later I was wiping away tears as I stood in the back of the funeral for a fallen Marine. Then a senseless act of violence erupted on a Friday morning. I was filling in on the anchor desk. During the noon hour, the horrific details of the shooting at Sandy Hook elementary school were reported. The producer in my ear saying 12 kids...18 kids...20 kids, the changes by the minute almost unbelievable. It took everything I had inside me not to cry. My voice cracking as the death toll continued to rise. It was hands down one of the hardest days I have had on the job.

We are now one week away from Christmas. It is supposed to be the most magical times of year. I look at both of my beautiful girls and want nothing more than to give them the best holiday ever. I want them to be excited for Christmas...to have that same feeling I had as a child. If I have realized anything in the recent weeks it is that you have to live for these moments. You have to enjoy the special times and make wonderful memories. I don't want to take any minute for granted.

The two lights of my life!

Sisters!

Avery is 6 months old now! Time sure flies when you are having fun and we are having lots of fun. It has been such a different experience for us. It almost seems like Avery is growing twice as fast. We were convinced at her 6 month visit this week that the doctor would tell us we have a big girl on our hands. Avery has cheeks you can't resist, chubby little legs and is already wearing clothes Ella wore at 18 months (I should note they are 6 mo. clothes). She is growing perfect and on a nice curve, but still petite. She is 14.8 lbs and 25.5 inches tall.

Now that Avery is starting to sit up and loves to play, Ella has taken a greater interest in her sister. She is the only one who can consistently get Avery to crack up with a deep belly laugh. There are some afternoons that the two of them can not stop laughing. It is the BEST thing to hear.

My sister Erin and me.

They are both too young to understand it, but I tell them every day how luck they are to have a sister. I am the oldest of two girls. My sister is my best friend. I talk to her every day (usually multiple times a day). She is my confidant, sometimes my boss, my harshest critic and my biggest supporter. She holds a master's degree (2 actually) in education and special ed and has been a tremendous help in navigating the waters when it comes to getting the best services possible for Ella. She is really good at being the person to calm me down when I am upset/sad/mad/frustrated. She even reminds me often (all the time actually) that she was the one to encourage me to write about our life and raising Ella and now Avery. I am so grateful I took her advice. The support I have had since I started blogging has been tremendous.

Ella and Avery watching morning
Tinkerbell. Aves looks skeptical!

I hope that Ella and Avery can have this kind of relationship. I often wonder how Ella's diagnosis will effect Avery's life. We have no idea what the future will hold. We don't know what kind of support Ella will need throughout school. All we can do is live in the moment and continue to be so grateful that Ella is doing very well. What I DO know and I can help mold is how both girls treat others. I like to believe that having a sister that has to deal with challenges many other kids are not faced with will make Avery a more compassionate person. In turn, I have already seen how Avery motivates Ella. She wants to help out all the time. She loves to help feed Avery and she thinks its hysterical to copy her whether it's making raspberry noises or rolling around. When the stroller comes out, my little assistant is right there to push her sister along!

 I hope that they can help each other throughout life -- the good and the bad, and be as good of friends as Erin and me.

   "For there is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather, to cheer one on the tedious way, to etch one it one goes astray, to life one if one totters down, to strengthen whilst one stands." - Christina Rossetti
 

It's All About Early

Christina and me...don't we look well rested ;-)?!

In the news business, we move around a lot. I have lived in four cities in the past 12 years. There are people that you meet along the way that you stay in touch with forever. I have been in Albany for five years now and gotten to know some very nice co-workers. We often spend holidays together and always seem to work strange hours, so getting along with these people is usually pretty important. I believe now more than ever that there are certain people that come in your life for a reason.

In the early morning hours, I have been fortunate enough to have a wonderful friendship with Christina, our morning anchor. We were both pregnant at the same time three years ago...and working nights. Ella and Christina's son Luke were born just five days a part. They both decided to surprise us with early deliveries and they have continued to surprise and amaze us for more than three years.

Luke has down syndrome and Christina deals with many of the same therapies and school stuff that I do.  It is surprising how similar our lives are. Luke is doing awesome and Christina is a tireless advocate. Tireless being the key word. We both come in at 3:30 in the morning, usually on just a few hours of sleep! What started as just a few passing conversations about the awesome progress our kids are making has developed into a morning therapy of sorts. I look forward to our morning chats in the make-up room. I always know she will just "get it". We both work these early morning hours, rush home to the kids, and deal with all the other daily issues. Whether it's how to help Ella or Luke or how to manage to get enough sleep, I know our morning chats will always be lively. Christina is always finding new ways to help our children learn and to make sure they are reaching their potential. She knows how elated I feel when Ella reaches a milestone. She can also feel my pain and frustration with the constant battles over health issues, or any other road block I seem to be facing. In turn, I hope that I can be that comfort for her as well. We have been thrown into this world of doctors and integrated learning, physical therapy, speech pathologists, shoe orthodics and special diets. The list goes on and on and we seem to always be adding something new. How many other people can discuss the best use of social stories, or how to find the right ear drops with me and then turn around and discuss the crisis in the middle east!! It's a world we wouldn't have imganied for ourselves, but have managed to (continue to) conquer.

Thank you, Christina for being a good listener, a tremendous advocate for children with special needs, a cheerleader, and a friend! I look forward to 4am tomorrow :-)

An out-take...laughing our way through the morning...
some times laughter is the best medicine!

Thankful!

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. I have two healthy, beautiful little girls, a great husband, a loving and supportive family, a loyal dog, a job that allows me to do what I love AND be a mom...the list goes on and on. It is so important to take a moment and acknowledge my good fortune because it is very easy to get caught up in the roller coaster of emotions that life can dole out. I try not to dwell on the negative, although I admit sometimes it's a struggle to pull myself up and put on that smile. Right now it seems like we are in the front seat of that coaster and flying through the upside down loops! While I would love to say the ride was nearing an end, I don't think we are getting off any time soon.

Hopefully Ella will be sleeping better
after adenoid surgery in a few weeks.

In the on-going saga of Ella's ear issues, the latest chapter includes a change in doctors and a new surgery next month. We decided to switch ENT's after months of feeling like we weren't getting anywhere. The "wait and see" approach of the doctor was hindering Ella's development. She is constantly battling blockages and hearing problems. This was leading to a bigger speech delay and other learning problems. The second opinion was hopefully one of the best things we have done. The new doctor feels that Ella's enlarged adenoids (which he could see on the MRI she had 2 years ago!) need to come out. He explained how adenoids can cause fluid back up in the ears as well as speech delays, snoring, sleeping issues, even difficulty swallowing and breathing. These are all issues Ella is constantly dealing with. We have heard that her adenoids looked swollen in the past, but never entertained the idea of removing them. Jason and I left the new doctors office seeing red. We are happy that it is an easy fix and a relatively routine surgery, but we also feel like one doctors lack of action has contributed to Ella's discomfort and our frustration for quite some time. How many doctors have looked at that MRI over the past two years?? As frustrating as it is, I have to be positive for Ella and hopeful that this surgery will be a game changer for her. We'll see...she is scheduled for surgery December 13th.

As if scheduling surgery for your three year old isn't enough stress for one family, we are also dealing with MRSA (again!) and some lost/stolen/missing meds. As for the MRSA, we are on a new protocol to try and "decolonize". Ella has been treated for the superbug four times this year. We finally seem to be on the right path now to stopping her infection and preventing the spread at home. We have some new meds and we are all using an antibacterial body wash.

So happy to see this
box arrive!

Our third battle of the week was waged when UPS "lost" Ella's growth hormone. Her meds are delivered every month. They are shipped overnight because they must be refrigerated. It is also very expensive medication, so when the box never arrived Tuesday, I immediately started making calls. The box is still missing and the pharmacy had to ship out a second batch. Talk about jumping through hoops! We had to have insurance re-authorization, set up Saturday delivery and even file a police report because of the missing meds. I am very thankful the new meds came and we didn't have to worry about her missing a dose. This has never happened in two years, so we weren't exactly sure how Ella's body would react. It's like insulin to a diabetic. Ella's body is dependent on the hormone shots every night. Needless to say the stress level was a little high!

Despite all the doctors appointments, phone calls and general madness of the week, I know that I am lucky to have this life and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have become a better person. I think I appreciate the little things a little more too. It was nice to take a moment on Thanksgiving and appreciate what the day was all about.